Hustling: Private Service is Paying The Price

Here’s the problem

Working 55+ hours per week is deemed a “super heavy” workload, and often, it’s the norm in many private service roles. The result is 750,000 deaths over the course of a year in employees 45 and older, primarily due to heart attack and stroke. Overstressed, overworked employment practices not only burn out employees, it kills them.

Hustle – the top trending word from motivational influencers and wealthy entrepreneurs for pursuing our dreams, succeeding in life, and getting rich.

Passionate entrepreneurs proclaim the power of these golden words. According to billionaires and business gurus, this buy-in is needed to get to the supposing land of milk and honey - where all our problems will be solved. 

While putting all our faith into this actionable word by supporting these hustlers is tempting, it’s more complex. The reality is that everything comes at a cost, and often, private service professionals pay the price.


Disclaimer:

This is friendly industry advice from a professional colleague. These words are my own and should not be considered legal advice or therapy.


The Hustle Culture 

What does it even mean to "hustle"? 

According to Google, it means to "obtain by forceful action or persuasion." This definition sounds perfectly suitable for charming charismatics waiving down from the top of their corporate ladders, but what does it mean for those of us looking up? This is where the lines get blurred and, often, totally vanish. 

We often hear homeowners and their household staff's complex relationships being inappropriately compared to the Downton Abbey era. If only the behaviors in today's workplace were remotely romantic, it could paint a beautiful picture. 

The reality is much grimmer. Our 24/7, say-yes culture often extends legal employment laws in this modern-day, white-collar equivalent glorified as "private service." Not all positions are like this, but my professional experience says that most are. 

Our hustle culture has evolved into a generation where determination and drive have been commercialized to exploitation, and it's killing our workforce – private service included. Being hard-working and self-sacrificing was once seen as a desirable characteristic, but now, it serves to that person's financial, emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical detriment.

This dangerous trend is debilitating the labor market, and we are experiencing this firsthand in private service. As private service professionals, we are not only exposed to wealthy people with very high demands, but it's our primary purpose to serve them. 

So, how do we protect ourselves and create a sustainable career in this 'say yes' culture? 

Unfortunately, there isn't a one-answer solution. It's a process of mindfulness and conscious effort by one burnt-out, usually underpaid, emotionally frayed, spiritually void, physically exhausted employee at a time. We need the support of past employees silenced by unethical NDAs, recruiters with a moral compass, and wise candidates who did their research and said no to unsustainable hybrid roles offered by overbearing or unaware employers.

The reality

These unsustainable positions will still be filled by individuals who need the income, unaware of their peril, or worse, by those who don’t continually educate themselves on what’s happening in their industry. The PSPs who do rise to the top are the ones who often expand their knowledge and stay aware. 

When I launched Estate Management Systems, I envisioned helping other private service individuals thrive in this demanding industry that depleted me on all levels. I wanted to lighten the burden of everyday challenges from demanding principles by providing estate managers with management tools to help them run their properties and manage their staff efficiently and successfully. I soon realized that there was a much greater need. 

While my products help estate managers thrive in their work environments, more resources are needed on a personal level - much more!

At the end of long, strenuous days of people-pleasing, emotionally supporting, and physically exerting, no energy is left to care for us. No shoulder to cry on, no punching bags, no understanding or kind-hearted ear to help reset, reboot, and recharge for another day.

So, what’s the solution? Here’s my advice:

1. To estate managers

  • Don’t entertain any discussion related to 24/7, unsustainable hybrid roles 

  • Tell the recruiter why you don’t want to be considered and why the job description is unsustainable

  • Write your ideal job description and share it with your recruiter

  • Ask for contact information for the last three estate managers or other housekeeping staff and find out about the household culture, work expectations, and general care and concern for staff.

2. To recruiters

  • Stop accepting work from employers who insist on needing 24/7 hybrid service from only one employee

  • Coach your principal clients towards more sustainable roles filled by multiple staff or sub-contractors

3. To principals

  • Understand what happens when you are understaffed. Staff who are stressed, overworked, and undervalued don’t perform their best, make mistakes, and get injured and sick more frequently. Ultimately, they will become short-term employees. 

  • Hire a consultant to advise you on the complexity of your home management and what staff and systems are needed to support your lifestyle. 

My verdict

Addicts have support groups, influencers have sympathetic fans, and the rich and famous have us. 

So, what do we have?

As a private service professional, you now have the opportunity to be a part of something bigger than yourself. A community where your stories can make a difference. I created the Private Service Support Team (PSST) to fill a void – a group of big-hearted, gifted people with a wealth of resources and wisdom to share. 

I invite you to consider joining our movement to share your hard-earned wisdom. As a member of this group, you will get supported by those who understand you most because they've been there, or more likely, they're going through exactly what you are now. 

You can be sure that you'll be contributing to the well-being of other like-minded industry professionals. We'll share our thoughts, experiences, and valuable resources unconventionally. You don't have to be an expert or have all the answers - no one does! Sometimes, all that is needed at the end of a grueling day is to be heard, feel safe, and have a place to go where resources and connections are available for your unique challenges. 

This is my contribution to our industry in the hopes of learning and setting healthy boundaries. By sharing hard-earned lessons, respecting each other for our unique skills, and elevating the personal well-being of private service individuals, we can do what we do best – serve those who value, protect, and respect our gift of service. 

Together, we can better our industry—one home at a time.

Kelly Fore Dixon

Founder, Estate Management Systems | How to Manage a Mansion™ | The Dear Billionaire Podcast | Private Service Support Team | Blogger | World Traveler

https://www.estatemanagementsystems.com/
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Primary Source of Burnout: Vague Job Descriptions

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